Have you ever felt like there’s an invisible wall between you and the life you want?
You can see the dream—the fulfilling career, the thriving relationships, the sense of purpose—but no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to break through.
The truth is, most of those walls are self-made. They’re built from fear, doubt, and habits that no longer serve us. But here’s the good news: every limitation has a door, and you hold the key.
Let’s explore 30 common chains that hold people back and how to break free—one step at a time.
The Chains and How to Break Them
1. The Fear of Failure
Ah, failure—the monster under the bed. We’re so terrified of making mistakes that we stay frozen, choosing inaction over the risk of “getting it wrong.”
But failure isn’t a villain; it’s a teacher. Think of it as a rough draft—messy, necessary, and leading to something better. Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” So, what’s one more attempt?
2. The Procrastination Plague
We’ve all been there: “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Then tomorrow becomes next week, next year, and suddenly, your dream is gathering dust.
Procrastination isn’t laziness—it’s fear disguised as busyness. The trick? Start small. Want to write a book? Start with one sentence. Want to change careers? Update your resume. Action, even tiny action, beats overthinking every time.
3. The Time Trap
How often do we sigh and say, “There just aren’t enough hours in the day”? But let’s be real—time isn’t the issue. It’s how we use it.
Consider your heroes, people you aspire or look up to: They have the same 24 hours, yet they’re out there running the world. While you might not have a team of assistants or a personal chef (yet), you can audit your time.
Identify your priorities and cut the fluff—endless scrolling of funny content that brings nothing into your life, anyone?
What you choose to read and see, which people you choose to interact with and the environment you build for yourself— every minute and each little thing pile up to the future you, so choose wisely.
4. The Inner Critic
Meet your inner critic: that voice in your head whispering (or yelling), “You’re not good enough.” It’s loud, persistent, and often dead wrong.
Would you speak to a friend that way? No? Then don’t do it to yourself. Replace “I’m so stupid” with “I made a mistake, and that’s okay.” Replace “I can’t do that” with “I can if I break it down into smaller steps”. Replace “Oh, I’ll never get there” with “Things take time but I’m working on it.”
Because guess what? You’re a work of art in progress, and progress is beautiful.
5. The Judgment Fog
Fear of what others think can be paralysing. But here’s a little secret: most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to judge yours.
And those who do judge? Let them. They’re only projecting their own insecurities in the hopes of creating enough noise so that they don’t feel themselves judged. And I’m not sure you need to be told that doesn’t work.
Remember: the people who matter most will cheer you on, not tear you down. So, wear the bold outfit, change your hair, switch the job, take the leap. Do what you need to feel you.
6. The Perfectionism Trap
Perfectionism is the sneaky cousin of procrastination. It tells you not to start until everything is flawless—but perfection is an illusion.
Picasso didn’t wait for the perfect mood to paint 50,000 pieces of art. He just painted. Aim for done, not perfect, and let the masterpiece emerge through the process.
7. The Comparison Game
It’s easy to fall into the trap of looking at someone else’s life and thinking they’ve got it all figured out. Social media doesn’t help—it’s a highlight reel, not the full story.
The truth is, everyone’s journey is different, and what works for them might not work for you. Focus on your unique path and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Picture life as a buffet—there’re enough ideas, joy and success for everyone. Take what you want from this buffet—and not from other people’s plates.
8. The Lack-of-Resources Excuse
Maybe you don’t have a million-dollar budget or a network of high-powered connections. That’s okay. In fact, some of the most incredible stories started from nothing.
Consider Howard Schultz, the man behind Starbucks. He grew up in public housing, the son of a truck driver, and worked his way up before transforming a small chain of coffee shops into a global brand.
Resources are helpful, but they’re not everything. It has many times been proven that creativity thrives on constraints, so use what you have now, trust the future, and take small, meaningful steps forward. You’ll be amazed at what you can build over time.
9. The Fear of Change
Change is uncomfortable—it challenges routines, invites uncertainty, and often feels like stepping into the dark without a flashlight. But resisting change doesn’t stop it from coming.
The fear of change often masks a fear of loss—loss of control, comfort, or identity. But holding onto what no longer serves you can cost you more than letting go.
Think of change as a process, not a plunge. You don’t have to leap into a whole new life—just lean gently in a new direction.
Even the caterpillar probably has doubts before becoming a butterfly.
10. The Broken Record of Thought
Beyond the inner critic, your mind often replays other unhelpful thoughts—“He drives me crazy,” “She’s always mean,” “I don’t have enough money,” etc.
The same unhelpful thought can play on repeat like a scratched record and these loops become so familiar they fade into background noise, quietly shaping how you see yourself and the world.
But thoughts aren’t facts, and repetition doesn’t make them helpful and/or true. Start tuning in. Catch the loops. Ask, “Is this helping me?”
If not, gently change the track. Some thoughts may return, but trust me—it gets easier with practice. A little awareness goes a long way in creating mental space for better beliefs to grow.
11. The Comfort Zone Cushion
Your comfort zone is like your favourite blanket—warm, familiar, and oh-so-tempting to stay under. But live under it too long, and you start to miss the sunrise.
Comfort zones aren’t bad—they’re necessary for rest and stability. But they’re not meant to be permanent homes. Growth needs space to stretch.
You don’t need to overhaul your life to grow. Try taking a different route home. Say yes to something you’d usually avoid. Speak up when you’d normally stay quiet. These little choices create momentum—and momentum builds courage.
The beauty of life is often found on the other side of familiar. Make it a habit to try something new every week, or even every day, no matter how small.
That’s where new skills, new people, and new parts of yourself are waiting.
12. The Fear of Rejection
Rejection stings, no doubt about it. But it’s also a sign that you’re putting yourself out there, and that’s something to be proud of. Every “no” is one step closer to a “yes.”
Think of rejection as redirection. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough—it just means that path wasn’t yours to take.
Rejection is often something that is hard in the moment but leaves us grateful for in hindsight.
When you meet your dream partner, you’ll be thanking all past heartbreaks for setting you free.
When you find your calling in a job, you’ll be happy the soul crushing corporation showed you the door before the interview was over.
Keep going, and trust that the right opportunities will align in time.
13. The Burnout Frenzy
In a world that glorifies hustle, it’s easy to feel like rest is laziness. But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Burnout isn’t a badge of honour—it’s a sign that you need to slow down.
Prioritise rest as part of your success strategy. Take breaks, set boundaries, and remember that self-care isn’t selfish.
Getting good rest leaves you energised, which makes you more productive, which makes you get more done faster, which leaves you more time for yourself—what a wonderful loop!
Your phone needs regular recharging—and so do you.
14. The “What If” Spiral
What if this goes wrong? What if I make a fool of myself? What if it all falls apart?
Overthinking can feel like being stuck in quicksand—the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. If you just must have an if thought, try “What if it goes right?”
Consider what is the smallest step you can take right now and start there. Action, even imperfect action, is the best way to quiet the noise and break free from the spiral.
15. The Lack of Clarity
Not knowing what you want can feel like wandering in a fog. You might think, “What’s the point of starting if I’m not sure where I’m going?”
But clarity often comes through action, not waiting for the fog to lift. Experiment with curiosity. Try new things, explore different paths, and give yourself permission to pivot.
Every step you take will reveal a little more of the road ahead. Sometimes, the only way to find the right path is to walk a few wrong ones first.
16. The Fear of Starting
The blank slate can be intimidating. You might think, “Where do I even begin?”
The truth is, beginnings are rarely neat or perfect—they’re messy, awkward, and sometimes downright clumsy. But they’re necessary.
Think of Michelangelo carving David: it started with a big, heavy, unshaped block of marble. The masterpiece came piece by piece, and easy it wasn’t.
You do not need anything to fall into place before you start. Start rough, start messy or start small—any start is better than not starting at all.
17. The Blame Game
It’s tempting to blame others for our unhappiness. “I’d be fine if my boss wasn’t so demanding,” or “Things would be better if my partner changed.”
While external circumstances play a role, happiness starts from within. When we shift from blame to ownership, we regain control over our lives.
You can’t change others, but you can change how you respond—and that’s where real power lies.
18. The Lack of Direction
Not knowing what you want can feel overwhelming, like standing at a crossroads with no map. But clarity isn’t something you find sitting still—it’s something you discover by moving forward.
Explore, experiment, and allow yourself to get it wrong. Each step, even the missteps, brings you closer to understanding what truly lights you up.
Life isn’t a straight line; it’s a winding path. Trust it will take you where you need to go if you just keep walking.
19. The Fear of Success
Oddly enough, success can be just as scary as failure. You might wonder, “What if I can’t handle the pressure?” or “What if success changes me?”
But remember, success doesn’t arrive all at once—it’s a staircase, not a leap. You’ll grow into each new level of responsibility.
Instead of fearing what’s ahead, focus on the next step, and trust that you’ll adapt as you climb.
20. The Safety Net of the Comfort Zone
We often think, “I’m fine where I am—why risk it?” But deep down, “fine” rarely feels fulfilling.
Growth lives just beyond the edge of your comfort zone. It’s like learning to swim—you don’t have to jump into the deep end, but dipping a toe into unfamiliar waters can lead to surprising discoveries.
Life expands when you’re willing to stretch, even just a little.
21. The Confidence Gap
Confidence can feel elusive, especially when starting something new. You might think, “I’m not ready yet,” but here’s the thing: confidence comes after action, not before.
Each small win builds momentum. Think of it like learning to ride a bike—wobbly at first, but steadier with practice.
Before you know it, riding a bicycle is a given and you don’t need the support wheels or anyone to cheer you on.
The more you try, the more you’ll believe in yourself and the more confidence you will radiate to others.
22. Toxic Relationships
It’s hard to grow when you’re surrounded by people who bring you down.
Toxic relationships drain your energy, erode your confidence, and cloud your judgment. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone a permanent seat in your life.
Let go of people who drag you down and surround yourself with those who uplift, inspire, and encourage you. You deserve relationships that feel like sunshine, not stormy clouds.
23. Resistance to Feedback
Feedback can feel uncomfortable—it’s natural to want to defend yourself or brush it off. But feedback isn’t an attack; it’s a tool for growth.
Think of it like seasoning a dish—it might sting the tongue at first, but it makes everything better in the long run.
Welcome constructive feedback, and use it as fuel to improve. Before you backfire at a critical comment, take a moment to reflect on it and see if you can turn it into something helpful.
24. Dwelling on the Past
We all have moments we wish we could rewrite. But replaying past mistakes like a sad movie won’t change the ending—it’ll only keep you stuck.
The past is a lesson, not a prison. Take the wisdom it offers and move forward. Easier said than done—yes, but parting with old thoughts is essential to progress.
If you need to talk it out or meditate on it to get it out of your system, do that. Do what you need to loosen the knot and move forward. You can’t drive a car by staring in the rearview mirror.
25. The Gratitude Gap
When things go wrong, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing. But you will never be happy if you are always chasing something you do not have.
Gratitude shifts your perspective. It’s a reminder of what’s going right.
Take a moment each day to notice the small joys—a kind word, a beautiful sunset, a warm cup of coffee, your home or someone who makes your world a better place.
Gratitude is like a muscle; the more you practice, the stronger it gets.
26. Resistance to Evolution
We’ve all heard about “the good old days” from generations before us—and truthfully, there will be things we miss as time moves on.
But change isn’t waiting for us to catch up. It happens—with or without our consent. So why not evolve with it?
Take AI, for example. It’s not just on the horizon anymore—it’s already here. And like any tool, how we use it is entirely up to us.
Instead of fearing it will take over and turn us into obsolete background characters, we can choose to use it for the greater good.
Instead of fearing change—study it, shape it, and grow with it.
27. Impatience with Progress
We want results now—or yesterday, ideally. But real growth takes time, like planting a tree.
Bamboo spends years growing roots before it shoots up 90 feet in a matter of weeks. What’s happening underground is just as important as what you eventually see.
Trust the process. Learning a language is another good example. At first, it’s just scattered words and blank stares, which can be very frustrating.
But if you keep learning the words, they will lead to sentences, then conversations, and eventually meaningful relationships.
Don’t expect all that by just memorising “Hola”. (That’s “hello” in Spanish by the way—you’re welcome.)
28. Fear of Letting Go
Sometimes we hold onto things—old habits, relationships, or beliefs—long after they’ve served their purpose.
Because we have come to depend on them, letting go can feel scary, like losing a safety net. But releasing what no longer serves you creates space for new opportunities.
Think of it as decluttering your emotional closet—make room for the life you want to step into.
Emotional decluttering is not just helpful—it is essential for growth, since nothing can grow where there ain’t any space for it to do so.
29. Excuses
We’ve already touched on some common excuses—the lack-of-resources excuse, waiting for perfect conditions and blaming others.
But it’s worth reiterating the damage of excuses: using them is like driving with the handbrake on. Sure, the engine’s running, but you’re not getting anywhere soon.
Excuses feel safe. Comfortable, even. And let’s be honest—taking a leap is scary. So instead, we wrap ourselves in the warm blanket of “I don’t have time.” “I’m too old.” “I’m not ready.”
But here’s the truth: there’s a way forward from wherever you are. There’s an action plan for anything you want to achieve.
You don’t need to have it all figured out—just sit down, and start mapping it out, one small thought at a time.
30. Settling for “Good Enough”
It’s tempting to settle, especially when things feel “fine.” But fine isn’t fulfilment. Life isn’t meant to be lived halfway.
I once told a friend about someone I was dating. “He’s nice,” I said. He raised an eyebrow and replied, “Wallpaper is nice.” I am proud to say I’ve since learned the distinction between valuable relationships and beautiful wallpaper.
Settling feels safe, but don’t confuse safety with satisfaction. Dreaming bigger might feel audacious—but that’s where the good stuff lives. The only real limits are the ones you place on yourself. So aim higher. Aim for a life that excites and inspires you—you deserve nothing less.
Breaking the Chains: The Power of Progress
Life is full of invisible chains—some we inherit, some we create ourselves. They creep in as habits, fears, or assumptions, convincing us that this is just how things are. But here’s the truth: every chain can be broken. The key isn’t to avoid them; it’s to recognise them for what they are and start loosening their grip so we can one day step out of them.
Remember, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress. Breaking free is a process, and it’s one you can handle. Because beyond those chains lies the life you’ve always dreamed of—and it’s waiting for you to claim it.
You don’t have to do it all at once. Start small. Pick one limitation to work on, and take that first step—no matter how tiny. Each step forward creates momentum, and before you know it, those invisible walls start to crumble.
Breaking free isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about uncovering who you’ve been all along—someone capable, worthy, and full of potential. Everything you need is already inside you, and the only thing standing in your way is the story you’re telling yourself. Rewrite it, one chapter at a time.
Awareness is the first crack in the wall.
The Classroom of Self
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